Some thoughts on the Family

Today I spoke in Sacrament Meeting.  I thought I'd share my talk here:

Why am I a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

My family.

Back in 1965, my Granddaddy opened the door to missionaries and invited them in. My Granny wasn't really interested in their message as she was a faithful member in her Baptist congregation. My uncle who was a baby at the time had a bad fever. The Elders offered to give him a blessing. My grandparents agreed to it and during the blessing his fever broke. My grandmother knew then that those young men were men of God and she listened to what they had to say. Shortly after, my grandparents and 2 of their 5 children (only 2 were above the age of 8) were baptized. My mother was one of those baptized then and she was 10 years old.

My mom married my dad who was a Catholic boy when she was 16 and 4 years later I was born. My mother took me to church occasionally and she told me that I used to ask her to take me there when I was just a pre-schooler. My parents divorced shortly before my 6^th birthday. Two years later my mom married my step-dad in the St. George Temple and as soon as I turned 8 my step-dad baptized me. My siblings born from this marriage were born under the covenant so I grew up in a home where everyone was sealed to each other, except for me. With all of my heart I wanted to be sealed to them, but I also loved my real dad and didn't want to hurt his feelings, so I waited.

It was always vital for me to be married in the temple myself. I wanted to be sealed to my own family for all of eternity. I was so grateful to have found a worthy priesthood holder who also wanted to be married in the temple and during that time I was also sealed to my mother and step-dad.

A year and a half after I got married, my father did too.  I'm happy to say that my dad and step-mom are also members of our Church now and have been sealed.

My dream for my children is that they will one day find wonderful spouses and be married in the temple too.

By the world's standards it is not an easy thing to be worthy to go to the temple. We are blessed to have the scriptures, modern-day prophets, and other tools like The Proclamation on the Family that can help us strengthen our testimonies and home lives, draw us closer to the Lord each day, and fill us with the desire to go to the temple at all costs. I'd like to share some of my thoughts on the Family Proclamation with you today.

The Proclamation is 9 short paragraphs. I'm breaking down my talk based on each of those paragraphs.

Paragraph 1 reads, “We, the First Presidency and the Council of the Twelve Apostles of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children.”

From the very start we learn that Heavenly Father wants us to get married, He wants us to have families. Is the family He wants us to have just our nuclear family? No, He wants our families united and linked through out our generations. A while ago I bore my testimony in Relief Society and shared my thoughts on the infinity symbol. The symbol for infinity looks like a figure 8 laid on its side. I see myself in the middle of that where the two loops connect. The loop to one side reaches back in time to my ancestors, then circles back to me. The other loop reaches forward to my posterity and also circles back to me. I am the link that holds my past and future together. I must search out my family history and serve my deceased loved ones in the temple. I must also teach my children to have strong testimonies of the gospel so they will be able to make their own temple covenants one day.

Paragraph 2, “All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.”

What an amazing thing to learn that we are literally the children of God! We are not evolved from a lower life form, nor are we here by chance, we are here for a specific purpose- to build the Kingdom of God on the earth.

We also learn that both males and females are created in the image of God, the image of heavenly parents.

I was appalled when I learned that the Ontario Ministry of Education wants to start teaching that there are 6 different genders in their new sex ed curriculum. In our modern age of “tolerance” Satan is very deceptive and is working hard to confuse and mislead mankind. We are fortunate to know that even if our fellow men redefine things that God's definitions won't change.

Paragraph 3, “In the premortal realm, spirit sons and daughters knew and worshipped God as their Eternal Father and accepted His plan by which His children could obtain a physical body and gain earthly experience to progress toward perfection and ultimately realize their divine destiny as heirs of eternal life. The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally.”

Although we have the veil placed in front of our eyes and can't remember our pre existence, we have prophets who teach us things from God so we can return to live with Him someday. I want to return to my Father in Heaven so badly, but it will mean nothing to me if I return there alone. I want to be there with my family, my friends, all of my loved ones.

In Doctrine and Covenants 130:2, the scripture teaches us: “And that same sociality which exists among us here will exist among us there, only it will be coupled with eternal glory, which glory we do not now enjoy.”

What a beautiful promise. The people that we love the most here will be the people that we love the most there. These relationships will not cease!

My feelings are always a little hurt when I hear others talk of being “stuck” with those they are sealed to. I believe if we only see it as being stuck with them and we truly don't want to be with them, that Heavenly Father will respect our wishes and nullify those sealings. The sealing power is only for those who want it. We will not be forced into anything we do not accept.

If we are having feelings of being “stuck” with our families, then we need to re-evaluate our attitude so we'll want to be together forever. I remember the sweet Kyle family that used to live in our ward. I taught a couple of their daughters in Young Women. I remember Gene telling us that her family would say, “If we're going to be an eternal family we need to learn how to like each other now.” We all need to learn to make our family members our best friends.

Some of us may have family members who have gone astray and might not want to be "stuck" with us.  Never give up them!  Continually love them and pray for them and miracles will happen.  We are all sinners.  The atonement of Jesus Christ has already covered ALL of our sins.  All we have to do is repent and turn back to Him and He will be there for us.

I would encourage everyone here today to seek for the blessings of the temple. Perhaps you are single, perhaps you are the only member of the church in your family. It doesn't matter, you are never alone. You are always a part of God's family and going to the temple will bless your life immensely.

Paragraph 4, “The first commandment that God gave to Adam and Eve pertained to their potential for parenthood as husband and wife. We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force. We further declare that God has commanded that the sacred powers of procreation are to be employed only between man and woman, lawfully wedded as husband and wife.”

In his talk "Nurturing Marriage," Elder Russell M. Nelson said, “Marriage brings greater possibilities for happiness than does any other human relationship.”

I have seen many wonderful examples of couples who truly love each other and put their spouse's needs above their own.

I have also witnessed first hand the heartache associated with broken homes and families. A friend told me once that there is no lonelier place than a bad marriage.  Just as I believe our greatest happiness can come from family life, I think our greatest sorrows can also come from there, especially if each member is not striving to be a part of an eternal family.  In such trying circumstances, support and counselling should be sought after. 

One of the things we've taught our children is a little formula we call the “High 5” to happiness:

1- Receive a higher education

2- Serve a mission
3- Be married in the temple to a spouse with similar goals as you and continue to go there often together
4- Choose a fulfilling career path
5- Welcome sweet children to your family

I love this stage of my life, having small children in my home. It is a great responsibility though. I hope I can teach them well, so when they leave our home and make homes for themselves that they will truly be happy.

Paragraph 5, “We declare the means by which mortal life is created to be divinely appointed. We affirm the sanctity of life and of its importance in God’s eternal plan.”

I was sick at heart when I read an article the other day that told of a woman in Quebec admitting to having had 5 abortions. The last one was performed at 26 weeks gestation. There were no complications to her life or that of her fetuses it was done solely as a form of birth control.

A popular nursery rhyme I sang on the school playground, should be taught in the school curriculum: “Boy and Girl, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes baby in the baby carriage.”

It seems so simple, yet so many make it complicated.

Paragraph 6, “Husband and wife have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are an heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations.”

Just as our children need food, clothing, and shelter, our children need affection. They need to be hugged, they need to be kissed, they need to be praised. They need to feel safe, secure, loved, and protected by their parents.

It is so important for us to be doing the basic Sunday School answers in our homes with our families. We need to pray, we need to read the scriptures, we need to have Family Home Evenings, and we need to attend church together.

I recently learned a little recipe to raise strong LDS boys, and I think it is just as applicable to girls:

For the first 6 yeas of life, Momma is the favorite, she needs to be there in her children's lives.

From ages 7-12, Daddy is the hero. He needs to have a leading role in raising his children.
For the last stage of 13-18, their lives need to be filled with as many good role models from church as possible.

We're all in this together and need to help one another in raising our families.

Paragraph 7, “The family is ordained of God. Marriage between man and woman is essential to His eternal plan. Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity. Happiness in family life is most likely to be achieved when founded upon the teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ. Successful marriages and families are established and maintained on principles of faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and wholesome recreational activities. By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed.”

Just as it takes a man and a woman to create a child, it is in that child's best interest to be raised by a mother and father. Mothers and fathers have different sacred responsibilities, but they are equal partners. In a world where misogyny still exists, as a woman I am grateful that I am seen as an equal and not as an object of possession.

Last week Sister Brule taught the Relief Society a wonderful lesson based on the article "Nine Principles for a Successful Marriage and Family" from the June 2013 Ensign.  Since I prefer even numbers, we've also added the principle of service in our household for a perfect ten. These principles again are: service, faith, prayer, repentance, forgiveness, respect, love, compassion, work, and recreation.

One thing our family has reinstated this year is our monthly date night. Leonard and I get some date nights out together; each of our children get 2 individual date nights- one with dad and the other with mom; we also have family dates at least each season. On Friday we took our kids to Mont Cascade Waterpark for the first time. An enjoyable day was had by all 7 of us. Time and budget restrictions don't allow us to do these things as often as we might like to, but we make our dates a priority at least monthly.

Paragraph 8, “We warn that individuals who violate covenants of chastity, who abuse spouse or offspring, or who fail to fulfill family responsibilities will one day stand accountable before God. Further, we warn that the disintegration of the family will bring upon individuals, communities, and nations the calamities foretold by ancient and modern prophets.”

This is a powerful warning!  Many in society have not been taught these same truths as we have. It is our responsibility to teach them. In Elder Richard G. Scott's most recent conference talk entitled, “For Peace at Home” he said, “As you center your home on the Savior, it will naturally become a refuge not only to your own family but also to friends who live in more difficult circumstances. They will be drawn to the serenity they feel there. Welcome such friends into your home. They will blossom in that Christ-centered environment. Become friends with your children’s friends. Be a worthy example to them.

One of the greatest blessings we can offer to the world is the power of a Christ-centered home where the gospel is taught, covenants are kept, and love abounds.”

Paragraph 9, “We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.”

Don't wait for someone else to promote these teachings- Be The One to do it yourself! Let your light shine and others will be drawn to you and then you can lead them to having their own relationship with God. Remember, you are not here by chance, you are here for a purpose!

I'd like to share some more words of Elder Scott's talk, “We need not worry if we can’t simultaneously do all of the things that the Lord has counseled us to do. He has spoken of a time and a season for all things. In response to our sincere prayers for guidance, He will direct us in what should be emphasized at each phase of our life. We can learn, grow, and become like Him one consistent step at a time.

I bear testimony that living an obedient life, firmly rooted in the gospel of Jesus Christ, provides the greatest assurance for peace and refuge in our homes. There will still be plenty of challenges or heartaches, but even in the midst of turmoil, we can enjoy inner peace and profound happiness.” 

Why am I a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints?

My family. The family I am raising now, the families I was raised in, my future posterity, my departed ancestors, my ward family, and my friends. It is my prayer that we will all strengthen our families and return home to our Father in Heaven someday.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

 

Last week Gavin gave a talk in Primary also on the "family."  He dictated what he wanted to say and I wrote it down for him.  Here are his thoughts:

 

I love my family.  I love doing many things with them. 

I love working with them and I love playing with them.

I love celebrating birthdays with them and Christmas and all of the holidays together.

I love going on vacations with my family.

I love my grandmas and grandpas and all of my aunts, uncles, and cousins.

I love my family because we learn together and have fun together.

My family brings me joy and happiness.

I'm so grateful I can be with my family forever.

I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

 

I couldn't want anything more than for all of my children to love our family and their future families this much!  Home can be a Heaven on Earth!