Last night I spoke at the adult session of General Conference on Family Home Evening. I usually turn into a crying mess when I'm at the pulpit, so I tried really hard to be strong and didn't shed a single tear. Then I was worried I may have been too robotic, ha! I missed having my cheerleader in the audience as he is at the United Nations Conference in New York City right now, but my dear friends cheered me on. I got several compliments afterwards, which always gives me warm fuzzies. One sister approached me to thank me for my talk and then told me that she thinks it's the best one she's ever heard on Family Home Evening. That really made me feel great. If I did a good job it was because the Holy Spirit helped me prepare and deliver it. I am so grateful for my Savior Jesus Christ and to be a member in His church. I am so grateful to my Heavenly Father for my testimony of His Plan of Salvation. I love the gospel!
Here is the talk if you are interested in reading it:
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Back in 1983 my mom married my step-dad; I turned 8 years old, was
baptized, and became fully active in the church; and the First
Presidency wrote this message:
“Dear Brothers and Sisters:
We live in a time when selfishness, violence, immorality, and
every other form of unrighteousness increases unrestrained in most of
the world. The family is being assailed on every side. It is with
deep concern that we urge you as parents to gather your children
around you and build love, loyalty, and companionship in your homes.
You are responsible to teach your children to walk uprightly before
the Lord.
Hold family councils. Talk to your children in personal parent
interviews. Read the scriptures together. Enjoy playing together.
Have family prayers. Hold family home evenings. But above all, be a
worthy example.
We promise you great blessings if you will follow the Lord's
counsel and hold regular family home evenings. We pray constantly
that parents in the Church will accept their responsibility to teach
and exemplify gospel principles to their children. May God bless you
to be diligent in this most important responsibility.
Sincerely your brethren,
The First Presidency”
This message is found in the Family Home Evening Resource Book and
today I'd like to share some ideas on the role of family home evening
in fortifying our homes.
WHAT is Family Home
Evening?
“In 1915, latter-day prophets counseled us to set aside an
evening a week for our families. It was a time to learn the gospel
and have fun together, while strengthening our earthly and eternal
connections. One hundred years later, family home evening continues
to help us build families that will last for eternity. Prophets
promise that through it, greater faith and spiritual strength will
grow in our hearts, and greater protection, unity, and peace will
abide in our homes. We all belong to a family on earth and are part
of the family of our Father in Heaven. Wherever we are in the world
and whatever our situation in life, we can celebrate and participate
in family home evening.” That was from the October 2015 Ensign.
WHO should hold Family
Home Evening?
Proverbs 22:6 says, “Train up a child in the way he should go:
and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
Obviously, parents with children at home are counseled to hold
family home evenings.
Some may think that they don't live in a “traditional” family
so family home evening is not applicable to them.
I'm here to say that family home evening is for everyone! It
doesn't matter if you are single, married, have no children or have
grown children. Everyone can benefit from an evening each week
devoted to strengthening their relationship with the Lord and with
those they care about.
Family home evenings can be multi-generational. If you have
grandparents living in the same town, invite them over to join you!
Or maybe you are the grandparents- invite your children with their
own young families over to join you! My grandparents had 4 of their
5 children living in the same town as them while I was growing up.
Each week they had a different child's family over for dinner and
FHE. In months that had 5 weeks, they would invite their married
grandchildren over that week. Now we had monthly
get-togethers with all of my grandparents' posterity that were great
fun with my cousins, aunts and uncles. But I also enjoyed these
monthly dinners and FHE's at Grandma and Grandpa's that were just for
my family. I hope when I am a Grandma I am able to do this for my
own children and grandchildren.
Family home evenings can also be held with friends. You may have
YSA children who are part of FHE groups in their wards. You may
teach youth at church whose parents are not members- invite them into
your homes to participate in FHE with you. If you are
empty-nesters and your children don't live in the same town as you,
perhaps you could get together with some friends who are also
empty-nesters and have FHE together.
Single parents may feel a bit daunted to hold FHE on their own.
You don't have to do it on your own though. Invite the missionaries
over to join you!
Part-member families can also hold FHE with all of their family
members present. I had a friend at BYU whose father wasn't a member,
while she, her mother, and sister were. She said every week they
would get together as a family and share an article they had read in
one of their magazines. Their dad would share things he read from
National Geographic or Discover Science. The 3 girls would share
articles or stories from the Ensign, New Era, and Friend. She said
it was a great time for all of them to share things that were
important to each of them with those they loved the most.
WHEN should we hold
Family Home Evening?
Every week! Monday nights have been set aside
in the church for FHE and no other church meetings or activities
should be scheduled on those days. If Monday nights don't work for
your family though, find a day and time that does! When we lived in
Taiwan my husband had a long commute and got home late from work each
evening. Once our oldest children started school I found myself one
evening saying, “Daddy's home, let's hurry up and have FHE, so we
can get you tucked into bed.” I realized that I didn't want to
hurry through FHE, so we decided to switch our FHE to Sunday nights.
The day of the week doesn't matter, but your consistency does.
I'm reminded of the quote by Nelson Mandela, “I am not a saint,
unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.” Our
family doesn't hold FHE every week, sometimes life happens. But the
goal is to hold FHE each week and that's what we're striving towards.
If we miss a week, we don't give up, we just try harder the next
week.
WHERE should we hold
Family Home Evening?
The answer to that is in the title HOME! Home
is the best place to teach gospel instruction and to invite the
Spirit. However, the entire evening doesn't need to be spent at
home. Perhaps for the activity portion of the evening you'd like to
go on a nature hike, or if you live close- visit church history
sites. You can serve others in many ways during FHE- rake the
leaves in your neighbor's yard, or help out at a soup kitchen.
I am 9 years older than my first sibling, and my 4 siblings were
all born within 5 years. My early youth years were busy at home with
lots of little ones. My teenage years were busy away from home with
lots of activities- I had 4 church callings at the ward, stake,
seminary, and girls camp level; at school, besides my classes and
homework I was involved in 5 extracurricular activities; and I had a
part-time job. Although my parents had FHE with my younger siblings,
I was not present for most of them. The only memory I have of FHE
was an outing to Scandia, which was a fun spot with miniature golf,
go-karts, and bumper boats; it was a great family fun night, but it wasn't
really a FHE.
Here comes the fun question,
HOW
should we have Family Home Evening?
Colossians 3:16-17 says, “Let the word of Christ dwell in you
richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms
and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to
the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name
of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.”
Lds.org asks and answers, “What makes family home evening
successful?”
Start and end with prayer. This invites the Spirit, increases
love, and teaches your family how to pray.
Learn from the scriptures and the words of latter-day prophets to
help your family live the gospel.
Add music, such as hymns and Primary songs, to create an
atmosphere of love, peace, and joy.
Make it fun by playing games, acting out scripture stories, and
making treats. Keep the atmosphere light and loving.
Add variety. Help a neighbor in need, hold a lesson at the park,
or go for a walk as a family.
I think it's important to include each family member. We are a
family of 8 so we have 8 parts which are: an opening song, opening prayer, scripture, lesson, activity,
closing song, closing prayer, and a treat.
Each family can adjust the components to fit their own family
size.
I'm a big fan of keeping things simple. However, I can't just
pull things out of thin air. Some weeks a specific topic for a
lesson may pop up and we will do that. Most weeks there isn't a
specific topic we need to discuss, so I have found several sources to
help with our lessons.
The Church has produced several publications that are great for
FHE such as, The Family Home Evening Resource Book, the Sunday School
class member study guide has suggestions for family discussion
included with each lesson, the church magazines have FHE ideas in
them, you can study General Conference talks, or topics from For the
Strength of Youth, True to the Faith, Gospel Principles, Teachings of
Presidents of the Church, Preach My Gospel, and Our Heritage- just to name a few.
Deseret book also has several nice books for FHE. A couple of our
favorites are 52 weeks of family night, and Ites- an illustrated
guide to the people in the Book of Mormon with 52 lessons and
activities.
You can find free ideas on lds.org and Pinterest too.
If you don't want to “read” a lesson, try “writing” one
and do some family history work, or writing in your journals.
Special occasions are also a time for special FHEs. When a new
baby is born, a child will soon be getting baptized, a son is to be
ordained to the Priesthood, someone is planning to receive Temple
ordinances, or to go on a mission, or to get married- these are all
times to help prepare with FHE. Every December we have 24 days in a
row of FHE as we prepare for Christmas, and this year we started a
new tradition with 7 days of FHE to prepare for Easter.
The current October issue of the New Era magazine said, “What if
for your next family home evening you had a birthday party for family
home evening? After all, 100 years is definitely something to
celebrate.
Since 1915, families all over the world have been gathering
together once a week for hymns, prayers, gospel study, activities,
and, of course, treats. And let’s be honest, sometimes things get a
little chaotic.
But in the end, family home evening isn’t about perfect singing,
polished lessons, or even the ultimate, fudgy brownies. It’s about
learning the gospel together, helping each other build faith, and
strengthening family ties.”
That quote leads us to my final question of
WHY,
why should we hold Family Home Evening?
Some may do it out of fear. In Doctrine and Covenants Section
68:25-28 we are warned, “And again, inasmuch as parents have
children in Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized, that
teach them not to understand the doctrine of repentance, faith in
Christ the Son of the living God, and of baptism and the gift of the
Holy Ghost by the laying on of the hands, when eight years old, the
sin be upon the heads of the parents. For this shall be a law unto
the inhabitants of Zion, or in any of her stakes which are organized.
And their children shall be baptized for the remission of their sins
when eight years old, and receive the laying on of the hands. And
they shall also teach their children to pray, and to walk uprightly
before the Lord.”
Some may do it out of duty. Colossians 3:20 says, “Children,
obey your parents in all things: for this is well pleasing unto the
Lord.”
Some may do it as a protection. 1 Nephi 15:24 says, “And I said
unto them that it was the word of God; and whoso would hearken
unto the word of God, and would hold fast unto it, they would
never perish; neither could the temptations and the fiery darts
of the adversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away
to destruction.”
Some may do it for the blessings. President Thomas S. Monson
said, “This heaven-inspired program … can bring spiritual growth
to each member of the family…” We want each family member to
have spiritual growth; we want each family member to love one
another; we want our families to stay close after our children have
grown and left home; we want our grandchildren to be raised in the
gospel.
I suspect most of us do it for all of those reasons and for the
greatest reason of all LOVE. We love our Heavenly Father and Savior.
We love our families. We want the Holy Ghost to help us navigate
wisely through this earth life and to make it back to our Heavenly
home. We want to become eternal families that receive exaltation and
live with our Heavenly family.
I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, amen.
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