2021 Family Pictures

I really wanted family photos before Noé moved to Hawaii, as once Kaleb moves to Africa we won't all be together for two years.  Plus, we may never all live under the same roof again.  Luckily, we had time after our 2nd lockdown ended and before the 3rd one started to have them taken by the amazing Rebecca Wareham!  (Rebekah Baronins is also a fabulous photographer!)

I love this man more and more each day and am so grateful for the life we have built together.

I still don't know how I got so lucky that these seven call me Mom.  It is an honor and privilege.

My handsome boys.

My beautiful girls.

Three weeks before we took these photos I learned I was pregnant again.  Two days after the photos, I learned we were having twins!  Unfortunately, two weeks after that I learned I had had a silent miscarriage (my body still thought I was pregnant, but the babies had stopped growing).  The above photo is the size my babies got to, before they passed.  Five days after I learned I would miscarry, the miscarriage finally started (I knew there would be emotional pain, but I wasn't expecting the physical pain.  It felt like I was in labor for 18 hours.)  Here we are two weeks later and I am still going through the miscarriage.  I want it to end, and also I don't.  Does that make sense?  Many of my loved ones have offered their love and condolences and told me that they know these two will be with our family in Heaven.  I sure hope so, but I just don't know.  I do believe our Spirits live in Heaven before we are born on earth.  I'm not sure though if life on earth begins at conception or at the first breath after leaving the womb.  I've always thought since life ends when the heart stops, then maybe life begins when the heart starts.  My little ones' heartbeats were never detected by ultrasound.  I've had two blighted ovums before, and I had 8 embryos when we tried IVF.  I was sad that none of those conceptions made it to life outside the womb, but the loss of these twins is much harder and feels so much different.  I would still love to have another child(ren) through birth or adoption, but I still hope these two will be ours in Heaven someday.

I am so incredibly grateful for these precious children!

I know they are mine for sure forever!

This is my heart!

I've had many friends lose loved ones recently and my heart breaks for them.  Please go and hug your loved ones tight!

Keep Going!

 "No matter what challenge you are currently facing, remember: 

“I did not come this far only to come this far.” 

Keep going. Keep trying. Keep trusting. Keep believing. 

Keep growing. As I have said before, 

Heaven is cheering you on today, tomorrow, and forever."

~Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

Poppin' By

Teague's teacher popped by to tell him she missed him and to give him some popcorn.

As you can see, he enjoyed it!

Teague's #12

Teague celebrated his 12th birthday on a Wednesday.  As it was his second in quarantine, we had him, his siblings, and Leonard play hooky from school and work to play all day.

He chose the menu for the day starting with a Grand Slam breakfast of French toast, hash browns, bacon, yogurt, and orange juice.

We had tortilla chips with salsa con queso for lunch, while we watched Alvin and The Chipmunks.

(We then watched the 3 sequels the next 3 nights in a row.)

Teague could only think of one gift he wanted for his birthday- Ready, Freddy books.  When shopping online (since we're in major lockdown and I can't visit a bookstore), I was finding the new books for $20 a piece on Amazon. ca, um no thank you.  I found a used book store that sold them for $4 each, that's more like it.  At that price we went through every title and ordered every one we didn't already have- 22!  Unfortunately, only 3 arrived for his birthday, but when the others arrive it makes his birthday last longer!

We also played the White Elephant game with 7 different chocolate bars.  It was fun to watch the kids (and maybe the parents too) stealing their favorite ones from each other.  We face-timed with Noé, and Teague spoke to both of his sets of grandparents.  Mother Nature also gave him a gift- snow!  We woke up with the neighborhood sprinkled in it (and the next day too), but it didn't take long for it to melt off.

For dinner he requested double-decker tacos, yum!

For his birthday dessert, he requested donuts from Suzy Q.

Happy Birthday to you!

Teague has two girlfriends, ha ha!

He chose well and we were all excited to share this dessert with him.

Happy Birthday Teague!  We love the wonderful young man that you are and we hope you have a terrific new year being 12!

More Bows

I love it when this girls sits criss-cross applesauce.

I also love it when she nibbles on her toes, ha ha!

She loves both of her big sisters so much.

I hope they will be best friends for life!

Farewell Noé

Sometimes my mama heart wishes I could bottle up my kids so they will stay young enough to live with me forever.  I know they have to leave the nest and create their own nests and when they do it will be wonderful.  I will still miss all of my birdies living in my nest though.

Noé finally got the green light to move to Hawaii for school.  We are so happy for her and wish we could have gone with her.

The farewells began Friday night, when she said goodbye to her bestie, Navy.

On Saturday, we ordered her favorite dinner from Mumbai Masala Grill and got cannoli from Delice Royal.

On Sunday we had to take some family pictures.

(Macy insisted she sit on the bench by herself with Noé and my arms snuggling her back, ha ha.)

Silly faces!

One more group shot.

And one more crazy shot!

Monday morning we got up at 3:00 to get her to the airport on time.  We didn't want to wake the kids, but Kaleb insisted on getting up to see his twin off.

(The other kids were so sad when they woke up and she was gone.  Ali came out of their room crying, and Macy just keeps saying, Noé, and doesn't understand that she's gone.  Noé wrote little love notes to each of us and taped them on our doors.  I think they'll stay up until she comes home again.)

She grew up.  And I'm so happy for her and the choices and opportunities she's made and been given.

But man, it hurts to see her go.

I had to get a shot of the mud room before her backpack disappeared.

Goodbye Canada!

Next stop Hawaii!

We can't wait to come and visit you sweet girl!!